vagi@vagi

☆☆☆☆☆★★★★★May 27 (edited)

Paraguay brought 4 proper strikers to a World Cup and somehow contrived to not score against a side with 4 amateur players and the lowest-paid coach in the tournament 17 shots 5 on target 0 goals The match had the energy of a tax audit New Zealand emotionally already done by this point produced 0 shots on target in return which is less a tactical decision and more an artistic statement And yet SOMEHOW New Zealand leave this World Cup as its only unbeaten team with no wins Three draws More points than Italy btw The defending fucking champions The 🥝 go home without winning a single game and still had a better tournament than the spaghetti mafia Paraguay qualified as group winners having nearly been embarrassed by accountants and part-timers Narrative: 1.5 Tactics: 1.5 Chances: 1.5 Goals: N/A Drama: 1 1.5/5