Slovenia
England

England finally remembered they’re a football team 3 games in and Capello drops Heskey 3 games of Heskey and suddenly they look vaguely alive Defoe turns in Milner’s cross at the near post and for one beautiful fleeting moment English fans collectively exhaled Then immediately started panicking again because Handanovic was in absolute beast mode tipped Rooney onto the post saved everything within reach basically played the game with a force field Gerrard and Lampard still couldn’t exist on the same pitch without cancelling each other out Johnson’s last-ditch block on Dedic in the second half nearly hospitalised everyone watching The Golden Generation showed up to a World Cup and produced this But fine A win’s a win i guess Slovenia deserved better and their fans knew it Narrative: 2.5 Tactics: 2.5 Chances: 3 Goals: 2.5 Drama: 1.5 2.5/5

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