bookd.
Plymouth0 - 1Burton Albion
very poor quality match. referee was generally sight-impaired at best and god knows what at worst. tough to name a man of the match out of such a poor showing in all.
Burton AlbionPlymouth5 - 1Crystal Palace U21
good game overall; great moment for amaechi with how well taken his goal was, rendle and campbell both impressive for argyle tonight. obligatory bim pepple goal as beautiful as always. palace were a tad aimless at times but seemed to be coached quite well defensively, despite what the scoreline appears to show.
Nott'm Forest0 - 1Coventry
pretty good watch, coventry battled hard for the win and deserved it for sure; forest rather lacklustre
Brighton3 - 0Arsenali wish i was the kid in this gif so i could get a TBI from the fall and as thus i would never be able to remember certain performances in this match ever again
Ipswich2 - 4Arsenaldowman is kinda just that guy tbh, excellent from start to finish both in and out of possession. sloppy defending and goalkeeping in a couple of moments in the second half from arsenal made the scoreline closer than it perhaps deserved to be.
Arsenal
Leyton Orient1 - 2Arsenal U21
Reasonable watch, some suspect and quality goalkeeping at various times from Ranson; overall a notably good performance by Emerson Nwaneri for Arsenal U21. Orient a little toothless in attack and seemed tactically unsure on how to break down their opposition. Orient being particularly weak when pressed on multiple occasions proved to be the deciding factor.
Arsenal U21
Leeds4 - 1Newcastle
sven botman is just shkodran mustafi: blockhead edition. the bazou consolation goal was celebrated wildly in this household even though i know damn well it will mean he never sees the pitch for another 4 games if the last good performances of his were anything to go by. leeds good, botman donkey, jaissle idiot, bazou awesome.
Brentford3 - 0Tottenham
very funny, not a lot else to say really
Plymouth2 - 4Coventryargyle absolutely horrendous in the first 5 minutes but good for the remainder of the match, coventry's individual talent the difference between the two sides. definitely a good watch despite the expected result.
Aston Villa0 - 1Arsenaljarred gillett really reinforces the stereotype of australians all being descendants of criminals cause my god what a fraud he is... outside of the refereeing performance this wasn't that bad a watch but it wasn't anything special either. calafiori motm cause at least he's hot enough to get me through some of the duller moments of this one.
Leicester2 - 0Plymouthif argyle could hit a malfunctioning nuclear reactor with a heat-seeking missile this game would have potentially been entertaining; closer contest than the scoreline makes out but ultimately two poor performances where one team decided to finish their chances for a 5 minute period and the other may as well have never left the dressing room.
LeicesterIpswich0 - 2Liverpool
ipswich's defensive solidity is about the same as my dumps on laxatives; soft, quickly departing and deserving of its place in the toilet bowl. it took 20 minutes for the lactulose to wear off before they decided "actually wait we're footballers let's do that". too little too late.
Newcastle2 - 2Bournemouth
entertaining first half, paint drying second half. rob jones is such a poor referee... neither team favoured by his decisions particularly here but jesus wept it was a lacklustre performance from him.
Arsenal2 - 1Chelsea
i can't be arsed to count how many times we've bent this lot over but it's a fair few now, quite funny if you ask me
Millwall0 - 1Newcastlesurprisingly close game; newcastle were bleh, millwall were toothless blah blah blah
Napoli0 - 1Arsenalmartin odegaard mmm yes sexy yes please 🤤🤤🤤
Tottenham0 - 0Everton
"shut my eyes 10 minutes into the first half only to open them again and it was full time and i had missed nothing" is what i would say had i not been an idiot and watched this in full
Sunderland0 - 2Arsenalanother pgmol apology please @howardwebb that konsa "foul" was nothing; thank god (bim pepple) for that beautiful goal from bruno (pictured)
Man United0 - 1Man City
can't even hatewatch city with 10 men cause united are just that awful 😭