bookd.
jasmine
girl who is really really normal about barça
Brooklyn1 - 3Rhode Island
as much as i spite usl, i walked out of my first game with a spanish boyfriend so it wasn’t too bad. highlights were abby getting her favorite players jersey and a drunk fan punching security
France4 - 1Belgium
i only root for france so michael olise can have a good day
Portugal2 - 1Norway
back(of the net)line domination
Spain3 - 1Czechia
so boring i painted my nails during the first half…girl(in sports)hood
Spain4 - 1Croatia
pedri you changed my stupid life
Mexico1 - 1Colombia
if you asked me what teams were playing i’d say richard ríos
Norway1 - 2Portugaldo you think ronaldo listens to nothing new by taylor swift and thinks of joão félix
PortugalPortugal1 - 0Wales
you’re getting he hay sported on by joão félix
USA0 - 2Portugalfirst time ever seeing joão félix play and he SCORED. for ME. so naturally i had to go get a joão félix tattoo.
Portugal
Atletico Madrid2 - 1Real Madrid
hydration break but with baby bottles for both of these clubs. and the oscar goes to!
Sporting Kansas City3 - 4Philadelphia Union
secen shot s deep and i missed every goal but i’m going to go clay sculpture ryan richter
Philadelphia UnionNew England Revolution4 - 2Orlando City
got SHOT by the REVOLUTION 🔥‼️🐅
Sevilla1 - 3Barcelonadidn’t score every 10 minutes😒sell the club we’re getting relegated.
Tottenham2 - 3Aston Villa
taking away tottenham’s first goal scored this season was like telling a suicidal person that life is worth living and then handing them a gun
Bayern7 - 0Union Berlin
oof close game…could’ve gone either way at the end there
Bayern
Real Sociedad1 - 2Bournemouth
héctor fort takes me places I wouldn’t even go with a gun
Barcelona7 - 2Racing Santander
barça conceding is as certain as the sun rising
San Diego0 - 5Philadelphia Unionwhat do you mean the union have scored TEN GOALS IN A WEEK. ryan richter statue in philly when. he gotta stop putting my nightmare blunt rotation in though
Chicago Fire1 - 2New England Revolutionwith the tactical changes and subs made in the second half, you would think we were up by five goals. i love my revs but damn we parked that bus so pathetically. still took the fire out of the fire though 🔥 💯 bamba you never fail to put fear in my eyes. yaoi of the match ethan kohler x noah allen. and for once im not being biased for putting kohler as potm
Real Sociedad0 - 3Atletico Madridi hate when diego simeone and his ugly nepo baby are happy
Man United0 - 1Man City
there’s no justice in this broken world 🥀
Levante2 - 4Barcelonaboring sloppy lazy and what were those subs. BUT ESPARTTT MY BABY GOATTT
New York City1 - 2New England Revolutionno better feeling than walking out of a stadium repping the winning away team
Tottenham0 - 0Everton
the coincidence of my favorite players always being #14 is scary. archie gray welcome to the club. he has yet to reach the level of larp mainstream that he’s got the potential for
Barcelona5 - 1Feyenoord
when it’s freaky friday and suddenly ferran torres is a ballon d’or nominee and raphinha isn’t
Barcelona
Los Angeles Galaxy2 - 1New England Revolutionsigh…maybe the baddest bitches are, in fact, in LA :/
Philadelphia Union2 - 0Montreal
the union subjected me to my bermuda triangle against my will (lukic, damiani, vassilev)
Al-Ittihad2 - 1Al-Nassr
RICHARD RIOS X JOAO FELIX if you know me you know…
Al-Ittihad
Valencia0 - 5Barcelonarodri better drop a public apology with tears for beating up eric garcia
Nott'm Forest0 - 0Tottenhamon a scale of 0-10 for how entertaining this game was, i’d rate it the number of goals tottenham has scored this season
Betis1 - 0Real MadridFIRST SUCCESSFUL HATE WATCH OF THE SEASON❤️ arda guler being a whiny baby about the air in MULTIPLE balls, mbappe missed penalty, vinicius crying to the ref after the match and getting a yellow card…🥰
BetisBarcelona5 - 2Rayo Vallecano
missed half the goals because i was too invested in explaining the team’s alpha beta omega dynamics to my friend
Columbus Crew1 - 3New England Revolutioncolombus brought their best youth rec team performance. this was like watching the revs play against the 2025 revs
New York Red Bulls1 - 3Philadelphia UnionWHAT ARE THEY FEEDING THESE ACADEMY KIDS. child labor might send us to playoffs🙏🏻 never thought a 2026 union match would go into my list of favorites. this was soo entertaining with the constant back and forth. i lost count of all the shots that should’ve gone in but the ball and net became repelling magnets.
Seattle Sounders2 - 2Chicago Firesounders front office paid an etsy witch for good fortune and she gave us dejan joveljic.
Seattle SoundersTottenham0 - 2Newcastle
tottenham, i promise marking your man doesn’t make you gay. the only thing that lessens the sting of supporting spurs is getting to watch my yaoi (archie gray and lucas bergvall)
Barcelona2 - 0Athletic Club
someone hold lamine yamal down and shave his facial hair off because that’s an imposter…i don't know who this man is. i mean, he could be walking down the street, i wouldn't know a thing. sorry to this man.
Real Madrid4 - 1Real Sociedadi feel like the grinch when real madrid wins at home and i see an entire stadium of my enemies celebrating
New England Revolution1 - 1New York Citymatt on matt crime. can’t feel my legs or my hands, i have a headache, no voice, and im slightly irritated. soo a classic revs game!
New England RevolutionMan City2 - 1BournemouthHE’S BALD…HE’S BALD AND HE’S TORTURING PEOPLE WHO HAVE HAIR
