bookd.
Tottenham3 - 01899 Hoffenheim
TottenhamTottenham1 - 1Getafe
No one asked, but I’ve had a nice couple of weeks. I saw Alien Ant Farm live, went to Longleat (red pandas!) and a few National Trust sites, and stayed in London for a week. My birthday was on Thursday - I’m an old man now. Life felt good. Emphasis on “felt” - I thought what better way to round out my time off before work on Monday with glorious Tottenham Hotspur. Predictably, I got what I deserved. Absolute boring shite. Getafe don’t know the meaning of friendly - hopefully we’ll never see them again. Real football coming back can’t come soon enough because this is not scratching any sort of itch.
Getafe
Chelsea1 - 2TottenhamI have no idea how Chelsea come back from this. Abject failure from Alonso who will be lucky to see Christmas at this rate. Meanwhile, De Zerbi continues to make his early case for Manager of the Season en-route to winning the title. Pru pru 🐦
TottenhamTottenham1 - 0Milton Keynes Dons
What a match, based on a sample size of the first five minutes. Corker of a goal, then it seems like I missed nothing at all listening to comms. On the plus side, I did get to see this beautiful cat I haven’t seen in over a year on the way home from work, so who’s the real winner here?
Tottenham
Spain1 - 0Argentina
Pedro Porro. Single-handedly stopping racism. Doing it for Javier Bardem. You love to see it.
SpainEngland1 - 2ArgentinaDespite being perennial relegation favourites, Tottenham Hotspur FC have the two best right backs in the world. Djed couldn’t stop racism today. It’s all up to you, Pedrito.
England
Paraguay0 - 1France
Utter shite from Paraguay. The ref was just as bad. Absolute waste of time.
England2 - 1Congo DR
Anyone who blamed Spence for the goal has zero understanding of football and I question if they have functioning eyes.
England
Norway1 - 4FranceDoué has made the list for that totally unnecessary goal.
France
Portugal5 - 0Uzbekistan
PortugalEngland0 - 0Ghana
Knew it couldn’t get any better than Djed blanking Partey. What a guy.
EnglandSpain4 - 0Saudi Arabia
You made me wait all that time to take away Porro's assist? Shameful.
Spain
Netherlands5 - 1Sweden
NetherlandsEngland4 - 2Croatia
Seeing Kane and Modrić share a pitch is always as special. Shame we didn’t get to see the equally iconic Spence x Vušković but I guess we can’t have it all. Perišić continues to defy time. It’s coming home.
England
Tottenham1 - 0Everton
Never in doubt.
Tottenham
Chelsea2 - 1TottenhamI’m not one to be superstitious at all, but we just don’t win there, do we? It’s a cliché but it’s one of those games where form goes out of the window, and it seemed so many of our fans expected to get the win here, but they were always going to be up for it purely because of their fans in the stadium having even a slither of a chance of (being part of) sending us down. We’ve been better since De Zerbi, but we’re still 17th, and while I think we’ll be a lot better if we survive, there’s a lot to be done. Kolo Muani had a poor game, but who was the alternative? There’s no point singling people out when we can barely field a full side right now. Let’s just hope West Ham are worse than us. Leeds are decent and I can’t see them dropping points here but it may come down to (another cliché for you) who wants it more. Please don’t mess this up Tottenham. Otherwise, basketball will be getting a lot more of my attention. Spurs are still good somewhere in the world, after all. Fuck Zaza.
Bournemouth1 - 1Man City
Half a star purely for the big Norwegian lad scoring and taking me back to first in my work FPL league. I hate people that constantly talk about FPL but I’m trying to take some sort of positive from this horrible timeline we find ourselves in. I only watched the first half but I wish I’d taken the night off completely - what a disaster.
Newcastle3 - 1West Ham
Never said a bad word about Kieran Trippier. Enjoy your retirement or whatever is going on. Howay the lads.
Newcastle
Man United3 - 2Nott'm Forest
Man United
Brighton W1 - 2Tottenham Hotspur WSensational way to end the season. We all love Tōko Koga.
Tottenham1 - 1Leeds
On a positive note, we’re all going to die one day so this won’t really matter in the long run.
TottenhamWest Ham0 - 1Arsenal
Awful football but I’m taking solace in it edging us slightly closer to safety. Maybe.
ArsenalNott'm Forest1 - 1Newcastle
Nott'm ForestMan City3 - 0Brentford
Man City
Liverpool1 - 1Chelsea
Chelsea
Aston Villa4 - 0Nott'm Forest😂
Aston VillaEverton3 - 3Man CityMan CityAston Villa1 - 2TottenhamNo idea where that added time came from but who cares? Solid stuff from everyone - just hope we’ve got the legs to get over the line.
Tottenham